Become Interested in the Experience of Being Aware – Rupert Spira
If you are feeling depressed, tense or agitated; your mind can enter a state of combat with itself. Those thoughts bounce off your feeling of depression which is your truth at that moment. When you feel something like that, don’t start overthinking. Go into your experience; proclaim that you are aware of your depression. After all, you wouldn’t know that you are depressed if you are not aware of it. Saying you are aware of your condition will gently take you to the fact that you are aware. Focusing on being aware rather than on the feeling of depression does not manipulate depression; it simply helps you realize the knowable nature of it. It is you who is aware of that depression.
Rather than giving your attention to trying to understand depression, finding a remedy for it, or attempting to decipher its clues, simply set it aside and focus on your awareness of it. Become interested in the experience of being aware rather in the experience of being depressed. If you become interested in being aware you will realize that the experience of being aware is not contracted in any way. You essentially are what is aware of awareness itself. The word “I” stands for the presence for that which is aware, an all-encompassing awareness that does not change or gets affected by outer or inner stimuli. That never shares the limitations of depression or any other contraction; it is but a small ripple in it and a part of it as well. Focusing all your attention on a momentarily distracting condition, thought or sensation strips you of the magnificent realization of your own being. You will understand that the being that is aware is you and that simply realizing and focusing your attention to being aware will launch you on a new path toward understanding. Become interested in the reality of experience, of what is really there in it. Focus on the encompassing magnitude of all your experiences and the simple, yet delightful fact that it is you who is aware of them. Lose interest in contraption and depression. Not by combating it, but because something more interesting did grab your attention.
It is like when you fall in love and suddenly all the things you used to be concerned about simply vanish; recede in the background because your mind is interested in one thing. Everything else fades into insignificance because your love. All you know is the knowing of experience. That knowing never disappears and runs constantly through all experiences. It is not a property of any particular experience, although it runs through all experiences and it is not limited by one experience. That is the knowing that knows all your experience. Fall in love with that and your contraptions and depressions will die of neglect. They won’t be so buried because we stopped thinking about them and they will wither off because there is no more nutrients in the soil on which they could grow and further pollute your body, mind and soul.
When we fall in love we do not care about our bank account, neighbors making noise, rain, sleet and snow, or snide remarks pointed at us – do the same thing for you by focusing on what is aware of awareness, on you. Become interested into something so grander and more loveable pay no mind on any sort of energy contraption. Without your focus they cannot grow, and without awareness of them they do not exist. Slowly, they fade, and six months back you will look back and noticed it went away since you lost interest. Troublesome voices that lure you back in contraptions will become insignificant background noise as you suddenly become aware of what you truly are. We are all one, and simply borrow emotions, feelings and energy from the same source, shape it in unique shapes and gift to one another through interaction. When you get closer to the source itself you will forget about all the negative shapes that might have been a part of your state some time ago, and you will be more focused on enjoying and crafting things with love.